When I will speak,YOU WILL LISTEN!

 These days words like ‘economy’,’capital’ etc..poke my neurons (leading to a baffled situation)! Waiting for concert to start and...... the person sitting adjacent to me with book titled (a bank for the buck) and....I could not prevent myself from asking him about ‘who,where,what…’ and he is architecture 4^th year from IITR basically interested in apps,cloud computing and plenty of ideas which were thought provoking, I never interrupted and ‘the passionate with fire in his eyes’ continued like...‘when I will speak,YOU WILL LISTEN’ and the speech was solution to all my doubts in such a way that now I am completely rattled,clueless about what to do! Its said that in life you get people who will be sent to teach you some lesson in one way or other

"All the forces in the world are not so powerful as an idea whose time has come!"

(PHILOSOPHY APART) it wont be an exaggeration if I say ‘the kinda people i come across in my life are INSANE’...nd yeah 'MY LIFE IS BRILLIANT'!

completely mesmerized!

http://www.perrymarshall.com/10043/godels-incompleteness-theorem-the-universe-mathematics-and-god/
the above link tells the whole story! been nostalgic by reading it! because the question a kid asks to his mother that what  is outside the universe is incomprehensible to his mother as well! and why not :
now:
what happens when we draw the biggest circle possibly can – around the whole universe. (If there are multiple universes, we’re drawing a circle around all of them too):

• There has to be something outside that circle. Something which we have to assume but cannot prove
• The universe as we know it is finite – finite matter, finite energy, finite space and 13.8 billion years time
• The universe (all matter, energy, space and time) cannot explain itself
• Whatever is outside the biggest circle is boundless. So by definition it is not possible to draw a circle around it.
• If we draw a circle around all matter, energy, space and time and apply Gödel’s theorem, then we know what is outside that circle is not matter, is not energy, is not space and is not time. Because all the matter and energy are inside the circle. It’s immaterial.
• Whatever is outside the biggest circle is not a system – i.e. is not an assemblage of parts. Otherwise we could draw a circle around them. The thing outside the biggest circle is indivisible.  A TREMENDOUS MESS!

is their an issue if we dont appreciate ARMY,IAF???

yesterday was dominated by the movie "shourya" and for a person who often writes a blog,its natural that u cant avoid writing on defence people after seeing that movie...with INDIAN AIR FORCE (IAF) i have always been nostalgic (i would say defence,including army as well,to generalise).....why i dint preferred joining it(yes i had an opportunity to grab that cap),coz i dont find a difference between them and a jihaadi (a terrorist,m not going to google it,just to make sure that i have spelled it correctly)...both of them have been through a process called brain wash,but why a jihaadi(terrorists) is having such an image of beast,because he kills innocent people(brain wash in such a way that u ll get heaven...bla bla),(now read further sarcastically)but things with IAF is fine just coz they have been told to do so by the bigg bosses (politicians,PM and as they are good civilized people so the order is justified) to fight and kill,which is legal (humbug!) irrespective of the fact that the dushmans(say pak soldiers) are not fighting on their own will,they have also been told to do so by their bosses,watever it is,its always dushmans who are bad and we are good(sarcasm) ....(bloody vote banking)....so whats the difference between a leader of terrorists and the big bosses of a country-they want kashmir,and we dont want them to give..as far as i have studied,KASHMIR IS A REASONABLE DISPUTE (HEY M NOT AN ISI AGENT ),i dont want to jump into WTC attack,coz from their (terrorists) point of view they were correct....if u are a good listener,u wont find anyone guilty coz from their point of view they are true....as musharraf says "RAW is doing the same thing as ISI,but if ISI do that then u have a problem"..in a nutshell "THEIR WAY OF PROTESTING IS ILLEGITIMATE"
well to conclude it:
STILL A LOT OF RESPECT FOR DEFENCE PEOPLE FOR THEIR DETERMINATION AND BRAVERY COZ AFTERALL "agar hum jaise log border pe apni haddiya nahi gala rahe hote to tum log aise buddhijiviyo ki tarah baat nahi kar rahe hote"..SHOURYA IS CHANGING MY VIEWS...well life is a learning process,its not necessary to stick on a single rule,lets break our own rules and adapt the change! m GOING FOR CHANGE...coz being a critic is the most easy job done! and with the above pic u would be a bit inclined towards our jawaans...this is natural and human,we cant avoid it,infact i should say "we dont have enough guts to ignore it"..

not an issue 'if u are not amazed while peeing'

yes it happens to me,seems like my best position is when i m peeing,coz i ll just stand on the pot and forget that wat i m here to do,after 10-15 min (i think so),when mummy will shout 'khaana lag gaya hai',then with a sudden jurk.........i dont know  wat i do in those spaces (certainly not invloved into something creative ;)) coz i m neither leonard sussind nor feynman who would try find meaning to every damn weird thing,like why  urine is not streamline as it approaches ground,how does gravity interact with a stream of.........i dont know how is it when a general public gazes up in the sky,or is involved in a thought process!
whatever it is its not something equipped with wave equations,coz the general public doesnt understand the language of nature (mathematics)...but is it mandatery to know mathematics??if so then what about vivekanand!! i have always hated philosophers,i would like to coin a word 'jobless' to them,i have came across different quotes not in agreement with each other,its for sure that philosophy is not to be generalised...but can we say mathematics could be???
what about a different condition,a different place where the ordinary,fundamental and damn obvious rules are not applicable?? indeed mathematics cant be generailised!
so its fine to pee like an ordinary public coz even the so called best brains are not sure of anything (the case of roger penrose...a complete rant) and as feynman said "I was born not knowing and have only had a little time to change that here and there"....cheers if you dont have a grudge of doing something extraordinary!.....life is too short to ponder over and regretting ur mistakes!

when everytime u are on the loosing side!

yesterday in a conversation wid my grandfather and listening to his story about how pleasant it was when he enjoyed the TEA at hotel TAJ,MUMBAI (they could not afford lunch) (before independence) and all those stories that because of the banner "indians are not allowed" in a hotel named,he said something "the great britain palace....he is 85 so the memories are fading.."jrd tata build TAJ coz of ego......,but he also mentioned  that "i have always been unlucky and on the loosing side"(i m avoiding th details)?and wid dis i was taken wid a shock,coz the same thing goes wid me....but as far as i know its genes which are transmitted not the "state of loosing"?

well yes it must be the way of working which i have inherited from my grandfather and hence i am also a looser,so it turns out that their is nothing called misfortune,auspicious or inauspicious,it is we who are completely responsible,QED by feynman says the same:
light does not have a choice of choosing a straight path,it takes all the possibility,this way,that way,but the probability of taking the straight path is maximum and it looks like light travels in a straight path,yes it looks like coz nothing is for certain,similarly the pathWHICH LEADS TO LOOSING SIDE SEEMS TO HAVE GREAT PROBABILITY FOR ME! i cant blame coz why a photon chooses only that path,i mean how he knows that it has to go that way only,WE DONT KNOW!! and thats the problem for physicist that they try to find reasons for every 'why'....o common atleast leave me,seriously i m no longer enjoying this state of being a looser,and u physicist are crazy,unsocial,even when u people are hurt,rather saying 'o god',u people start giving explanation to it in terms of quarks,leptons....FUCK!
but yes they have a lot of guts ;)

I WAS WONDERING IF IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH ATHEISM?

how a person can be so much selfish that he concentrates only on how to strengthen his personal bank account,doesnt matter if it costs thousands of life?? I WAS WONDERING IF IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH ATHEISM??i was reading an article on chidambaram's role in 2G scam,and if you go with your conscience,then yes he was not ONLY guilty but the mastermind,and so i was developing a curiosity to know more about him,and then wikipedia says that he is an athiest!

i had a doubt that whats worth in having 15 digits figure in the bank at the cost of thousands of life! and that also you wont be able to spend that in your lifetime...how you can be so much self-centered ??
now the point is: the one who does not believe that their is someone at the top(god) who will ask explanations for all my sins,will never hesitate to do it (atheist)!...

its our fate(i dont know if its fortunate or unfortunate) that we are brought up in a society which values emotions and defines humanity as 'being human u should help ...(that mother teresa language)'...but the other way round the person who believes in making his own rules may develop a personality like this,and thats fine...so in that sense chidambaram (a graduate from oxford) is not a man who lacks value (previously i had misconceptions like this),that the one who is educated will not be involved into bribery bla bla...NO ISSUES...!  ,their is no problem in making some money (sorry plenty of them),it happens that for someone it goes like "A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy" and someone is maniac for money!..both is fine,i mean it should be fine,coz we the judge are also having some pre notions and so we would be inclined a bit towards a particular notion....but yeah chidambram u are maniac and that was not fair...:D ;)...look i m also a bit inclined towards einsteins saying!!!!!!!!

stages of admiring a bureaucrat!

first thing that attracts u is the RED siron and movie 'gangajal'
then comes the bunglow

then one day you yourself experience the pain of standing for an hour in the queue outside his office,that also for his office stamp (not his signature!)

then one day you witness his squad while he is moving to his office

then one day a constable abuses you just because your vehicle is not parked properly,and you feel like "karle beta,3 saal baad tu mujhe salaam maarega" (overconfident stage)

if their is an order from administration then you start discussing wid your peers that this is not done,it should have been so nd so (the interfering stage!) and feeling like DM sahab on your own,,:D

then you feel like "dad one day i will make u proud" (an emotional stage when u come to know their are 6 lak aspirants and only 920 makes it!)

u will connect more if you belong to bihar or up or any state jaha "wardi ki garmi" zyaada hoti hai...;)
as u can see from the pic that presently i am in "the interfering stage"

I AM NOT A SCIENTIST

 

i am not a scientist...i have always waited for something called intuition,that an equation like e=mc2 will come to me...i have lived with a belief that a physicist have a spark of ideas like a genius,he is not an ordinary person,its just all about the beautiful mind that he have,which distinguishes him from ordinary people...it goes like "when a scientist gazes up in the sky he sees something different,not only stars,but clusters of stars,which is galaxy with black hole in its centre...and something extraordinary like this",his thoughts are not ordinary and may be thats why he lives in 11th dimension!

now comes the explanation of feynman about how a 'law' is made:
1). first we make a guess. (this is something which shook me)
2). then we compute the consequences of the guess.....
3). if it disagrees with the expected result,its wrong....
the first point was sufficient for me to boost myself....strange! feynman also used to guess! their is nothing called like magic and he dint had intuition!!!its just about the so called "thinking process" in which he was involved since childhood and so at the dusk of his life he bacame the so called FEYNMAN! if an ordinary person is ready to devote a great deal of time in the subject matter,then he becomes a scientist! (these are the PROFOUND words of feynman)

we all are born as a scientist!

we all are born as a scientist,gazing up in the night sky and wondering whats out their?? i devote a great deal of time playing with kids and it reminds me of my questioning attitude....infact when a kid asks to his mom "from where did i came",he really mean it!!he is into a habit of a 'why'....i remember when as a kid i was informed that most of the stars are bigger than earth,i was in a state of complete disarray ,actually for me it was like small  twinking ants which are inside earth and we were also living inside the earth (the globe in classroom created this confusion),i was lost somewhere after listening this,the fact that mom has bought a toy for me was lost,may be thats why hawking said that information is lost in black hole,against the most fundamental  law of physics....and i kept on thinking..never accepted this fact till i was in class 7th and felt it on my own,i think the state of thinking beyond your limits is blackhole,where human thought cant go,and hence we speculate (coz we can only speculate) that their MAY be wormholes at the end of balckhole,shortcut in spaces,MAY be connecting other universe (i used MAY)...(still these are myths like tsunami is caused by moons pull!)
i had sleepless nights thinking what will happen if the sky falls,and at a point of time i felt like giving up,then a time came when i was grown up and the menance of sky falling was no longer their...we can achieve anything sometimes by mistake,sometimes deliberately!!coz we all are born as a scientist,god does not play dice by making someone einstein,we all are born as a scientist!!!

FATHER,BANK,BRIBE,FARMERS,SUICIDE....

it was sunday-a holiday and just to get out of the boredum,i asked my dad about his work (my father is manager of a branch posted in rural area of bihar,a bank employee),like how is it to interact with the people living in 20th century,i was aware of the fact that its a nice topic to avoid the boredum because he will be able to bring the contrast very nicely coz he himself is experiencing the contrast by spending 8 hours in 20th century and remaining in 21st century :
he started like - ya the people are innocent,illiterate....and the common awareness that we all share about village life...i interrupted him in the middle and asked to say about his work and how people react and interact ..... :
(dad continued...)
see actually they dont know that its government who is giving money (loan and different gov. schemes including central and state),they feel as if its me who is giving the money on some conditions (and so they assume that i am having a cordial relationship with manager) and so they will happily offer 2000 rs(if 10000 is the loan amount),this is just a one case,their are situations when farmers (even those who are aware of their rights)are compelled to give the bribery in order for the bank loan to be sanctioned,to be precise getting a loan for farmer is like fixing a meeting with the prime minister,and so if one succeeds,he will happily offer.....(obviously he is my father so i will be praising him, but its true that he is not into bribery,because he thinks like (he told me)...the one (farmer) who is not aware of the fact that the one whome i m regarding as my god (branch manager) and so happily offering him 20% of the sum..,will one day become the cause of my suicide if i am unable to pay it back.....and i (me) am sure that the one(my father) who thinks into such a depth (who is aware of such innocence) wont take bribe from one who is already dead and is having some spark for his life when he comes at the footstep of bank!!!
now for example:
if chidambaram (who is accused for the 2-g scam) and is often said to have a share of 50000 crores in it,if he thinks for some time that the money that i m going to invest in my swiss bank account (which i could never use,obviously income tax wont allow him to  buy a ferrrari),could provide employement to millions of youngster starving for food (YES THE INDIA OF ABDUL KALAM (youth) IS STARVING!),then he wont have done.....(he was the then finance-minister of country and is an alumunus of harvard business school..feel the contrast,may be thats why our constitution says for becoming a politician you dont need qualifications!).......
father continued in his bravado and this time i was completely perplexed and my anticipation was completely wrong: (PAY SOME ATTENTION TO THIS)
last day their was a case when we were on the recovery with police team,and the farmer was given threatnings to pay the amount within ...otherwise next time (dabangg language of police,get it) and the amount was 600 rs. only(yeah only suits here not for the draft of "1600 crores only" used in 2g scam!) and my father knew that he wont be able to pay it back with his 3 daughters and 2 son along with his wife struggling to manage basic necessity for life....i was amazed to my max. and said my father (in a rude voice)why dint u paid??(now with more arrogance)anyways from nxt time you reduce my monthly allowance by that much amount,if such cases are their??? he said if i do so then i wont be left with anything,forget your allowances,coz this is the general case!!!!!
seriously the boredum was apppreciable than this abominable lull of silence,never knew that the newspaper looks so obvious to my father (i dont read newspaper coz of the negative news they carry and its almost in every article,some negative msg,maybe positive also but negative energy attracts me more)

i dont appreciate a disciplined life!

discipline??? dont you have the box called brain,cant you adjust as per the requirements....now i have come across people who will be like,sleep at 10 so as to get up early in the morning (say 4 am)take bath,doesnt matter if its f****g 2 degree centigrade...
if this is the case then certainly i dont want to spend the so called "slave" disciplined life,yes slave of your sick thought,may be guided by someone,whatever it is,its slavery for sure...
some deviations and flexibity should be permitted,this frustration of mine is coming out just because i admired army (defence people a lot),i liked their routine life,oh! f***,rather i should say a f****g monotonous slave life,they dont have a mission as such,they will just wait for the orders from top and that top again from top,which at the apex will turn out to be few people adamant on their words (say prez of the country declared a war),so in simple words it turned out to be "conflict of principles" of the two dictators (yeah DICTATOR)....
i dont like a disciplined life!

"thank god" i can say this when in trouble

 

 their are sayings which says that it (everything) started on its own,these are very basic doubts and few obsessed people may hesitate to ponder over it,but what gives so much courage to be an athiest....obviously we dont know about the concept of deities,and it does not seems to be promising too,but still i am not an athiest....
now the one who is an athiest and his antagonist have a great contrast,humans cant visualise and feel 4-d,its just mathematics,which laid the foundation of hyperspaces...similarly an athiest can believe that he may read "the mind of god(okay okay the concept of origin and an answer to why)" but an extraordinary physicist (not an athiest) who believes in some supernatural energy, will quit his ultimate voyage (reading the mind of god)just because he knows that our brain has some limitations and pondering over to get ultimate may  be a waste of time,rather lets spend that time in the development of mankind!
or is it fractals which leaves us with enough confidence to reject the idea of god??

that was not a fluke...

whats worth in learning when we end up mugging up things like when so and so happens use this and when this is the case solve like this???
bessel,legendre equations etc,etc...we know when to solve using which formula but we cant get the feel of WHY??...how bessel came at the conclusion,when he encountered the problem which could not be solved by earlier methods and hence he have to give a method....i mean this feeling is the real thing...after this semester i wont remember a single formula and condition!then whats worth in gaining this FEELINGLESS EXPERIENCE!
why dont they give us unsolved problems in our course and evaluate us on the progress made in it by seeing our work,this will be a real contribution...by now i would have already received critics like "ARE U GETTING EVERYTHING WHAT THEY ARE TEACHING NOW IN MATHEMATICS"...
LET ME TELL YOU A SHORT AND 'HANDSOME' STORY:
this dates back to 1st sem exam...me ,ashish and arpit were solving the then most difficult problems of mechanics with a hope that only a miracle can solve it with pens down! then one of my 4 cgpa frnd came and said lemme try,suddenly arpit got annoyed and said u dont even know the formula's (no intensions just coz their were many formula's),obviously he dint had mechanics in that sem,but he did something out of the box,with a different feeling by visualising the situation  and we thought that it was a fluke but now i am writing this coz he is in IITD (thats a proof for society,but i knew his credentials and this FEELING)...by now i am clear why he failed in 2 subjects...and yeah he was not meant to study at NIT CALICUT,he left in the middle.....though i was a bit startled when i came to know that he is not satisfied their also....well life is a learning process and i have learned a lot with a hope that we are here to shift our benchmarks every time.....hope you land at some good place with satisfaction...:) and yes that was 'handsome'
dont know what i am doing by simply learning the names???

i dont know how its SELFLESS??

lets assume that god is feelingless,now plz dont have an attitude that i cant assume such nonsense! by this(god is feelingless) i mean that he is not at all impressed when you feed a poor! will you continue to do this kind of social service if you come to know that god is not going to give you any credit for this???
its our psychology,rather i would say the way we are brought up since childhood,which develops such feelings that helping someone is like a credit in your god's account,i am not sure if god feels the same??
i have seen people taking social service as self credit and debit,just because they are living with a belief that if they do so,they are doing good,what if their is no credit or no recognition or fame for such things??
i am not condemning social service,i am just strucked at the point of credit and debit??is it really like people do it for pleasure,the old people in this profession may be doing this for their pleasure,because they are already at the dusk of their life,and everyone is scared from god (sorry i am being a bit negative,but i can doubt,thats why they are much i the business,now plz dont say that dont coin words like business for social service),but what about the youngsters??do they feel divine in doing so???
coz their was a trend of wearing clothes written om or slokas...is this the same fashion???
i dont mean to target anyone,its just that i simply do not understand this SELFLESS pleasure,i dont know how its SELFLESS???

WHAT YOU WANT BROTHER??

 

if someone wants your valuable comments (valuable coz u stand on their expectations) on something very personal to him,then you cant just say the reality just because u think u are straightforward,coz the moment someone ask u to comment it means he expects something positive from you......
now i am in DILEMMA, i have been to many situation like this when people seek my views just because i stand on their expectation and boost them up!
but their have been situations when people doubt me by saying "you are diplomatic and cunning"...and hence the dilemma....i know people back stabb and defame me just to boost personal image,but its does not frighten me,in turn it gives me a confidence that they  cant speak in front of me and that they feel insecurity from me!!
LISTEN BROTHER,i never went to u (sorry if it seems like i am passing some cheap shots) and started blabbering the goody goods,u came to me with some goody good expectations and so i supported u at that moment,if it would have been opposite u could have coined words like "i am jealous","attitude" bla bla to me.....??
WHAT U WANT BROTHER??seriously "I DO NOT UNDERSTAND"...my mother was correct when she said to me "U CANT EXPECT  THE WHOLE WORLD TO THINK THIS WAY"....
i know people do back stabbing and defame  just to boost personal image,but its does not frighten me,in turn it gives me a confidence that they  cant speak in front of me and that they feel insecurity from me!!ITS BETTER TO TAKE A BULLET ON CHEST THAN TO HAVE IT ON BACK,they wont get it!..
its not my problem,its not your problem,its their problem....and now u can ask "whome u are referring to by calling "THEIR"???

and i dont know what to do!

the moment i am writing this,what is the probablity that i am enjoying in pub??certainly NOT 0! if quantum is about this then one thing is for sure that these physicist are jobless and the scenario is like firing bullets in a dark room!!
now their is a concept of infinite universe (beyond multiverse) which fulfils all the possibilities that a person is doing almost everything in all age,which is a consequence of infinite space and time (infinite universes) (dont know how to explain this)...to feel this "infinite" let me tell u what infinte mean...infinite is the time (say),if a monkey is given a typewriter and he continues to type then he will write "harry poter series"...ponder over it!!! and make other conclusions on your own!
paul dirac the man who laid the foundations of quantum had a wonderful story which says that "my father ill behaved with my mother and he compelled me to speak french and while dining he made me eat food till i vomited if i spelled a single word incorrectly" but the family photographs and the letter conversation of his father with his mother says the reverse what dirac revealed as picture of his dad...isn't it strange!!!
so if quantum says something like "what  i have stated in 1st two lines",its not a big deal???
if someone says "actually we are making things complex without any reason,we are just figuring out things complex because we dont have an answer"...then that someone may be right!...
and i dont know what to do???