i am not crazy,its just that i am not scared of what you think of me!

feynman loved to play bongo (drums),now this nobel laureate used to move forest in night and played bongos madly and tried to sing with the unknown and changing rhythm,since it was annoying in the silence of night,after some days he was caught by local people and they were amazed! oh! is it u mr. feynman,we suspected that tribals have came to our place!!
but feynman was not crazy,he was not scared by being caught doing childish stuffs.
von neumann (if i have a good memory),he loved reading books while driving,i said while driving!!
and my mother finds it damn difficult to synchronize with,when i will read the book "surely you are joking mr. feynman" she will not agree with the mischiefs!!
these people have actually crafted a serious and strict image for professor,and so she was having difficulty in accepting what feynman did besides physics,she had a clear belief that professors dont behave like this!
well!!
i do not understand whats worth in keeping secrets,unless its some international negotiations between two countries or something highly confidentials,but when people like you and me hide secrets(that also too highly childish),i do not understand whats worth in it???
i have been to many situations like this when people dont speak just because they care what people will think??
sometimes its like people wont behave childish (though they want),just because they dont want their manly image to be lost??
sometimes its like people mock others in public just because they believe in doing so my manly image will be boosted???
i have put ?? sign at the end of these lines,because people are so manipulative on topics which are worthless,i do not understand!
really i do not understand!!!!!!!

sometimes i dont know how to react!!!???

i had a deep trouble in accepting the fact that exams are important to prove yourself,i had my own philosophy which says that whats worth in proving that your thoughts match with the person  who sets the question paper....i thinks its time to change the perception so as to have food 2 times a day after b.tech!

i remember the day when i failed in social science (was just a beginning of failures)..coz i was not willing to write further in exam just coz fingers were paining (was a kid then)

sometimes i dont know how to react???shall i be happy or sad,happy because i passed in all subjects,and sad because my friends left me far behind...really i miss those days when their was a feeling of competition,jealous of being a looser,life without a competitor is damn boring,i want my conscience back!

Last night was not pleasant coz I knew the consequences of my 6 months of carelessness at nitc! I was just doing random scribblings and tried to escape reality by reading penrose crazy description on quantum....i couldnt dilate the time nor i could go in future to escape the pain of present,but einstein provided us something to imagine which could give pleasure of escaping the damn reality!!!
no regrets..life is too short,we take years to learn how to speak....BINGO

sometimes i loose myself and i dont know,what i do in those spaces???

when your mother ask for a glass of water and you bring phone to her and she screams because of her hiccups and then u start pondering over that what i did meanwhile (well speculate only after giving her water :D)???well can we have equations for these abrupt behaviour,if possible then i should say that it would be reflecting thought of god...well physicist having talking about "theory of  everything" after the successful amalgamation of electricity and magnetism,their have been talks like that nature would be too simple to be governed by a single law which could explain everything..
i wonder how beautiful or atrocious that 1 inch formula would be coz it has to explain that why
 *dogs dont need a swimming trainer..(they know it by birth)
*monkeys cannot understand calculus...(its proved,their brain cant grasp)
i think we should understand that,if monkeys dont have the authority to understand calculus..then who gave us the right to understand the fundamental laws of nature....these weird experience like, :- you go for something and do something else is like, u can feel what an insane person would feel like (their is a fine difference between genius and crazy people).....one more thing we humans cant imagine 4th dimension,it was only the equations which provided the existence of 4-d and other hyperspaces,so how to think of that 1 inch formula which could explain everything....then what HAWKING is doing,well his journey is beautiful and thats all we are here to do..enjoying the question round and asking for answer to oneself!!!

its better to live with not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong....

when roger penrose says "everythig from quantum to string theory is wrong"...(oh! yes i am mortal,i dont have to look for artificial intelligence,i am already equipped with natural intelligence..)
today i came across an article which was basically the feelings of a physicist,now the statement of penrose is like triumph for spiritual (beginners of this field) people (spiritual would be not apt rather i should say victory for superstitious people),they would say that "science could not catch god,they have wasted their life in scribbling crap,instead if they would have spent their life in chanting mantra's and pilgrimage,they could have been like us".....
now their are two type of people in this world one who like to play it dangerously until they experience the danger (physicist and spiritual,and the class you know)and the other kind is the one who takes everythin for granted,they dont believe in arguing and doubting (superstitious)...
i think its better to investigate,than having answers which might be wrong (who knows what we do in our religion is the real thought of god???)
but on the other side the comment of penrose was like a storm for the physics freak,those who have gone through "emperors new mind" and are on the verge to start their investigation inspired by penrose....but now its the time when the reality will be revealed that you belong to which class of the people.......(whether u will follow penrose and give up or spend ur lifetime and wait for the day to conclude yourself)...
this is for sure that we cant reach ultimate but we should have the courage  to investigate,who knows you could attain satisfaction which is the way we are here to do!!!!!

my life is brilliant...

my life is brilliant,when u start giving importance to coincidences,it means you are a spiritual person,and i am no exception to it,but i doubt before giving full support (well this does not have any resemblance to wat i will talk further ;) .....its about 30th nov. 2011,ernakulam express...

this journey is again of some importance,i always hated spiritual people,I was never influenced by talks which could not have a proof …and so "surely you are joking mr. feynman" could be a best book you can gift to your enemy(I know I m being rude),who is spiritual,now this guy is ece from NIT TRICHY,2005 batch and guess wat he is not an owner of some big chair,but a social worker,spiritual working for some ashram,orphanage...!!!!??????

and for spiritual people books of feynman would be awkward in some sense,coz spiritual people follow some tradition like doing meditation,introspection and contemplating on nature,but they don’t have equations to represent it in mathematics,and feynman is a magacian who is dad of philosophy but often go to bars and have fun with girls,who works on the same but is not scared of flirting and pondering over the consequences of flirting...isnt it funny that you present a book(which deals with the mischiefs of a nobel laureate of einsteins class!) to a person who believe in :not to hurt anyone,talking in low pitch,not starring at girls,charity,having a belief that if u do good in this life,you will payed in next life (if not in this life)….

now by this time i have realised that i have found someone who could answer my questions....i always doubted that how come is it possible that someone reaching at such heights could quit everything,i mean he worked for infosys and later on as ceo of some telecom project in nepal,have been to uk...well i have been thinking and reading about people like arvind kejriwal,kiran bedi and some big shots like that,and i used to wonder that what drives people towards social service after reaching that height????

and now with me i have a one of almost the same class,though not that famous???wat he says is……

whatever I will not agree with him till I find everything on my own,but he was a good person,well i am not being diplomatic,its coming from core….MY LIFE IS BRILLIANT…;)

i dont feel frightened by not knowing things...

we say that it was 14 billion years ago,when god started another company??i mean if it was another company or has he just started his business???watever! the former is multiverse and later universe...anyways i dont have to know an answer (feynman said)..thats fine indeed!...people says time slows down near dense mass,since spacetime bends (citation needed)....so is this slowing of time all about that 1 year compresses to 6 months (say)...if so then i am completely screwed

also 14 billion is caliberated with respect to what? is it with our earth's present condition???because time at black whole wont tick further....by saying this i mean (okay leave black hole) lets take a heavenly body x where time would dilate by a factor of 1/2...now with respect to x the company started 7 billions years ago and for black hole,well they say that we are reverse of wat happened after big bang and time is not a concern over here,we have secrets of universe......so its strange to ponder over such things because for the same businessmen,its one shop says that my owner is 14 billion worth and other says no its 7 billion only????

this is certainly not the way it really is...!!!

another theory of expansion and then compression and so on...seems to fit into the philosophy of infinite past and future of the universe but the moment when cosmoligists say that the first tick of clock happened 14 billion years ago,its pain in ass,because one might question why god was too late or why he was lunatic about the figure 14 billion?????....well lets switch of the lights and be unconcious..good night :D

THE BUREAUCRAT

THE fire of IAS,IPS AND UPSC is common but a bihari is having a differet feel of that HEAT..............its 25th july and i was taken with a shock,have no words how to describe that day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am just 1 in a thousand faces and unknown of the outside world is moving to CHENNAI( basically CALICUT FOR ADMISSION )...ITS COROMANDAL EXPRESS  and i am going wid my brother (As usual my father could not manage for a leave from bank).......a person radiating positive energy from his face comes and sit in front of us (30-35 yrs)....he knew dat i was like him(frequency matched) and started to talk as if he knew me from before,being a kid(ya kid) i couldnt stop myself from talking to strangers....and so d conversation went on and he is btech from IT-BHU AND hence respect for him came at a sudden,then i started talking to him about ENGG.. and as an elder brother (he was aware of my curiosity) he started telling me about DO'S AND DONT'S and i was impressed......then i asked about his job he said he is working for SOME SECURITY SYSTEM,i asked wat an electrical engg. has got to do with this!!!!!!!!HIS NERVES WENT HIGH, but he was able to convince me on that,,.......

as per my nature  never looses a chance to ask my questions( i have a few  set of questions to judge a person) and again i was impressed ,I UNDERSTOOD THAT DIS GUY HAS GOT SMTHING DIFFERENT  MORE THAN IIT................and so we moved on to cosmology,universe,matematics,einstein (he was pretty comfortable in all the topics)....and the time is 1:00am(night)....generally in train people sleep at 8:00 pm..and i said we should sleep...............
morning 7:00am - he is reading magazine,my 1st question BEING A BIHARI........"bhaiya aapne UPSC TO DIYA HI HOGA,hamare taraf to sabhi dete hai,written to nikaal hi liya hoga,interview me disqualieid ho gaye honge?????"

he replied "yaar tu sawaal bahut karta hai",and he gave me his contact card
its
                 "AVINASH KUMAR (IPS)
                    DEPUTY COMMISIONER OF POLICE
                    TIRUNALVELI
                    GOVT. OF INDIA"
silence.................................i can hear my heartbeat...................
i couldnt speak for 5 min (ya 5 min)

he said "I DIDNT WANTED TO LOOSE THE CONVERSATION,THATS WHY I SAID SECURITY SYSTEM NOT CIVIL SERVICES   AND BEING A BIHARI I KNEW THAT U WILL FEEL THE HEAT OF CIVIL SERVICE AND IN ORDER TO SHOW RESPECT WILL NOT OPEN WID ME....."

BEING A BIHARI,NOW A MUCH MUCH RESPECT FOR AVINASH BHAIYA.....
                                                                            SALUTE YOU...................................
                                                           ( "THE MOST IMPRESSIVE PERSON I HAVE EVER MET" )