i am not crazy,its just that i am not scared of what you think of me!

feynman loved to play bongo (drums),now this nobel laureate used to move forest in night and played bongos madly and tried to sing with the unknown and changing rhythm,since it was annoying in the silence of night,after some days he was caught by local people and they were amazed! oh! is it u mr. feynman,we suspected that tribals have came to our place!!
but feynman was not crazy,he was not scared by being caught doing childish stuffs.
von neumann (if i have a good memory),he loved reading books while driving,i said while driving!!
and my mother finds it damn difficult to synchronize with,when i will read the book "surely you are joking mr. feynman" she will not agree with the mischiefs!!
these people have actually crafted a serious and strict image for professor,and so she was having difficulty in accepting what feynman did besides physics,she had a clear belief that professors dont behave like this!
well!!
i do not understand whats worth in keeping secrets,unless its some international negotiations between two countries or something highly confidentials,but when people like you and me hide secrets(that also too highly childish),i do not understand whats worth in it???
i have been to many situations like this when people dont speak just because they care what people will think??
sometimes its like people wont behave childish (though they want),just because they dont want their manly image to be lost??
sometimes its like people mock others in public just because they believe in doing so my manly image will be boosted???
i have put ?? sign at the end of these lines,because people are so manipulative on topics which are worthless,i do not understand!
really i do not understand!!!!!!!

sometimes i dont know how to react!!!???

i had a deep trouble in accepting the fact that exams are important to prove yourself,i had my own philosophy which says that whats worth in proving that your thoughts match with the person  who sets the question paper....i thinks its time to change the perception so as to have food 2 times a day after b.tech!

i remember the day when i failed in social science (was just a beginning of failures)..coz i was not willing to write further in exam just coz fingers were paining (was a kid then)

sometimes i dont know how to react???shall i be happy or sad,happy because i passed in all subjects,and sad because my friends left me far behind...really i miss those days when their was a feeling of competition,jealous of being a looser,life without a competitor is damn boring,i want my conscience back!

Last night was not pleasant coz I knew the consequences of my 6 months of carelessness at nitc! I was just doing random scribblings and tried to escape reality by reading penrose crazy description on quantum....i couldnt dilate the time nor i could go in future to escape the pain of present,but einstein provided us something to imagine which could give pleasure of escaping the damn reality!!!
no regrets..life is too short,we take years to learn how to speak....BINGO

sometimes i loose myself and i dont know,what i do in those spaces???

when your mother ask for a glass of water and you bring phone to her and she screams because of her hiccups and then u start pondering over that what i did meanwhile (well speculate only after giving her water :D)???well can we have equations for these abrupt behaviour,if possible then i should say that it would be reflecting thought of god...well physicist having talking about "theory of  everything" after the successful amalgamation of electricity and magnetism,their have been talks like that nature would be too simple to be governed by a single law which could explain everything..
i wonder how beautiful or atrocious that 1 inch formula would be coz it has to explain that why
 *dogs dont need a swimming trainer..(they know it by birth)
*monkeys cannot understand calculus...(its proved,their brain cant grasp)
i think we should understand that,if monkeys dont have the authority to understand calculus..then who gave us the right to understand the fundamental laws of nature....these weird experience like, :- you go for something and do something else is like, u can feel what an insane person would feel like (their is a fine difference between genius and crazy people).....one more thing we humans cant imagine 4th dimension,it was only the equations which provided the existence of 4-d and other hyperspaces,so how to think of that 1 inch formula which could explain everything....then what HAWKING is doing,well his journey is beautiful and thats all we are here to do..enjoying the question round and asking for answer to oneself!!!

its better to live with not knowing than to have answers which might be wrong....

when roger penrose says "everythig from quantum to string theory is wrong"...(oh! yes i am mortal,i dont have to look for artificial intelligence,i am already equipped with natural intelligence..)
today i came across an article which was basically the feelings of a physicist,now the statement of penrose is like triumph for spiritual (beginners of this field) people (spiritual would be not apt rather i should say victory for superstitious people),they would say that "science could not catch god,they have wasted their life in scribbling crap,instead if they would have spent their life in chanting mantra's and pilgrimage,they could have been like us".....
now their are two type of people in this world one who like to play it dangerously until they experience the danger (physicist and spiritual,and the class you know)and the other kind is the one who takes everythin for granted,they dont believe in arguing and doubting (superstitious)...
i think its better to investigate,than having answers which might be wrong (who knows what we do in our religion is the real thought of god???)
but on the other side the comment of penrose was like a storm for the physics freak,those who have gone through "emperors new mind" and are on the verge to start their investigation inspired by penrose....but now its the time when the reality will be revealed that you belong to which class of the people.......(whether u will follow penrose and give up or spend ur lifetime and wait for the day to conclude yourself)...
this is for sure that we cant reach ultimate but we should have the courage  to investigate,who knows you could attain satisfaction which is the way we are here to do!!!!!

my life is brilliant...

my life is brilliant,when u start giving importance to coincidences,it means you are a spiritual person,and i am no exception to it,but i doubt before giving full support (well this does not have any resemblance to wat i will talk further ;) .....its about 30th nov. 2011,ernakulam express...

this journey is again of some importance,i always hated spiritual people,I was never influenced by talks which could not have a proof …and so "surely you are joking mr. feynman" could be a best book you can gift to your enemy(I know I m being rude),who is spiritual,now this guy is ece from NIT TRICHY,2005 batch and guess wat he is not an owner of some big chair,but a social worker,spiritual working for some ashram,orphanage...!!!!??????

and for spiritual people books of feynman would be awkward in some sense,coz spiritual people follow some tradition like doing meditation,introspection and contemplating on nature,but they don’t have equations to represent it in mathematics,and feynman is a magacian who is dad of philosophy but often go to bars and have fun with girls,who works on the same but is not scared of flirting and pondering over the consequences of flirting...isnt it funny that you present a book(which deals with the mischiefs of a nobel laureate of einsteins class!) to a person who believe in :not to hurt anyone,talking in low pitch,not starring at girls,charity,having a belief that if u do good in this life,you will payed in next life (if not in this life)….

now by this time i have realised that i have found someone who could answer my questions....i always doubted that how come is it possible that someone reaching at such heights could quit everything,i mean he worked for infosys and later on as ceo of some telecom project in nepal,have been to uk...well i have been thinking and reading about people like arvind kejriwal,kiran bedi and some big shots like that,and i used to wonder that what drives people towards social service after reaching that height????

and now with me i have a one of almost the same class,though not that famous???wat he says is……

whatever I will not agree with him till I find everything on my own,but he was a good person,well i am not being diplomatic,its coming from core….MY LIFE IS BRILLIANT…;)

i dont feel frightened by not knowing things...

we say that it was 14 billion years ago,when god started another company??i mean if it was another company or has he just started his business???watever! the former is multiverse and later universe...anyways i dont have to know an answer (feynman said)..thats fine indeed!...people says time slows down near dense mass,since spacetime bends (citation needed)....so is this slowing of time all about that 1 year compresses to 6 months (say)...if so then i am completely screwed

also 14 billion is caliberated with respect to what? is it with our earth's present condition???because time at black whole wont tick further....by saying this i mean (okay leave black hole) lets take a heavenly body x where time would dilate by a factor of 1/2...now with respect to x the company started 7 billions years ago and for black hole,well they say that we are reverse of wat happened after big bang and time is not a concern over here,we have secrets of universe......so its strange to ponder over such things because for the same businessmen,its one shop says that my owner is 14 billion worth and other says no its 7 billion only????

this is certainly not the way it really is...!!!

another theory of expansion and then compression and so on...seems to fit into the philosophy of infinite past and future of the universe but the moment when cosmoligists say that the first tick of clock happened 14 billion years ago,its pain in ass,because one might question why god was too late or why he was lunatic about the figure 14 billion?????....well lets switch of the lights and be unconcious..good night :D

THE BUREAUCRAT

THE fire of IAS,IPS AND UPSC is common but a bihari is having a differet feel of that HEAT..............its 25th july and i was taken with a shock,have no words how to describe that day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am just 1 in a thousand faces and unknown of the outside world is moving to CHENNAI( basically CALICUT FOR ADMISSION )...ITS COROMANDAL EXPRESS  and i am going wid my brother (As usual my father could not manage for a leave from bank).......a person radiating positive energy from his face comes and sit in front of us (30-35 yrs)....he knew dat i was like him(frequency matched) and started to talk as if he knew me from before,being a kid(ya kid) i couldnt stop myself from talking to strangers....and so d conversation went on and he is btech from IT-BHU AND hence respect for him came at a sudden,then i started talking to him about ENGG.. and as an elder brother (he was aware of my curiosity) he started telling me about DO'S AND DONT'S and i was impressed......then i asked about his job he said he is working for SOME SECURITY SYSTEM,i asked wat an electrical engg. has got to do with this!!!!!!!!HIS NERVES WENT HIGH, but he was able to convince me on that,,.......

as per my nature  never looses a chance to ask my questions( i have a few  set of questions to judge a person) and again i was impressed ,I UNDERSTOOD THAT DIS GUY HAS GOT SMTHING DIFFERENT  MORE THAN IIT................and so we moved on to cosmology,universe,matematics,einstein (he was pretty comfortable in all the topics)....and the time is 1:00am(night)....generally in train people sleep at 8:00 pm..and i said we should sleep...............
morning 7:00am - he is reading magazine,my 1st question BEING A BIHARI........"bhaiya aapne UPSC TO DIYA HI HOGA,hamare taraf to sabhi dete hai,written to nikaal hi liya hoga,interview me disqualieid ho gaye honge?????"

he replied "yaar tu sawaal bahut karta hai",and he gave me his contact card
its
                 "AVINASH KUMAR (IPS)
                    DEPUTY COMMISIONER OF POLICE
                    TIRUNALVELI
                    GOVT. OF INDIA"
silence.................................i can hear my heartbeat...................
i couldnt speak for 5 min (ya 5 min)

he said "I DIDNT WANTED TO LOOSE THE CONVERSATION,THATS WHY I SAID SECURITY SYSTEM NOT CIVIL SERVICES   AND BEING A BIHARI I KNEW THAT U WILL FEEL THE HEAT OF CIVIL SERVICE AND IN ORDER TO SHOW RESPECT WILL NOT OPEN WID ME....."

BEING A BIHARI,NOW A MUCH MUCH RESPECT FOR AVINASH BHAIYA.....
                                                                            SALUTE YOU...................................
                                                           ( "THE MOST IMPRESSIVE PERSON I HAVE EVER MET" )          


                   

THE BUREAUCRAT..(part 2)

(refer http://jhadeeprajjha.blogspot.com/2011/05/being-bihari.html,to get some more feel...)
the man sharing the compartment of b1 bogey was certainly "master of all trades and jack of none" (i know the quote..:P)...but one thing was for sure that he was not into civil services,coz he told me that he was working for some security system!..thats why i asked him so rudely...ki "aapne written to nikal hi liya hoga interview me disqualified ho gaye honge" (knowing the fact that he was an iitian)....well you know the best part is that people respect IAS,IPS because of their power and status in the society,believe me!spend a night with them (no negatives...:P),you will respect them as a person (A FULL PACKAGE OF A BALANCED HUMAN BEING.ignore exceptions)....
after using source we could make only one confirm ticket (took waiting 1.5 months ago) and wen i asked him about when he planned going to chennai (actually we were going to chennai),he said 2 days back and i wondered that how come he could get a confirm ticket,then i thought he must be a high official in company,but i was a fool (why high official of a private firm would travel in train),i could have guessed that he must be a higher govt. official!!!!
well.....he never wanted to share that he was ips,dont know if he was on some special task,so that he had to keep his identity confidential or he considered me a kid who was not mature enough to talk serious..??actually my question was damn annoying thats why he had to reveal his identity,ab yaar tu kisi ips ko bolega ki upsc ka interview nahi nikla hoga tere se to uski jalegi na!!! ROFL....but avinash bhaiya believe me jab aapne apna contact card diya na to meri itni buri lagi thi ki i am writing part 2 after 1.5 years of the incidence..;)

kahani khatam hai ya shuruaat hone ko hai??

god plz sign a bond with me which says that "i will not be involved in a ratrace of working under someone to earn money and become wealthy enough to buy a ferrari...."

i am not sure about what would be my state of mind(say when i am completed with my engineering),but i thing is for sure that i would surely be a looser if i go against my physics fantasy and work in some software company!!!!

my aim is not to condemn computer science,i just want to work for my pleasure....how can i condemn anything from my frame of reference,its evedent from the fact that people like steve jobs had pleasure in this field....its awesome,i can realize this,since i am a student of computer science but i cannot see the beauty,which few of my colleagues do,i am all the time amazed by the new glories of new generation computers,but i cant think anything new on my own,which is against my soul,i can think the algorithm but i am a DAMN POOR translator,and i dont like being bound.....

while reading this,u may not get the connections in each line,i said na damn poor translator of feelings......is their anyone who can get those feelings....????

if i get this "anyone" then surely i can reach ultimate(not real ultimate but my own feeling of ultimate) and if not then let god decide my destiny!!!!

KAHANI KHATAM HAI YA SHURUAT HONE KO HAI???

PHYSICS AND SUPERSTITIOUS MOTHER

good morning mummy....breakfast ready...(then i looked at wall clock) !but its just 7 now??

she said.."first take bath,it was grahan (eclipse) yesterday" (in our hindu mythology,we are bound to some stupidity like this!)..and this statement was something so weird that my nerves went high,and i started explaining her that it was in eclipse when scientists proved that its not necessary for light to travel in a straight line!

and this is the difference that we people take bath and wash our brain,if the moon comes in between eatrh and sun,then whats your problem .i mean it does not make a sense.....

watever!she didnt care and i dint get food until i took bath...

2nd may,2011..how can i forget this day,it was my birthday and my mother was forcing me to go temple with her,actually these things does not make a sense to me??i refused to go,and then.....came the explanations  about why i could not do well in 1st year and many such negatives were coined,and the reason was "this evil is happening just coz god is not happy with you,since you are making such statements"...,and some more astrology accompanied with insanity was successful to persuade me to go to temple....

and now its my turn to show some physics,i asked her why you offer milk to idols??have he asked u that he want (something which has amino acids,4%protein,4.8% lactose)..??the basic constituent of matter is energy(vice-versa true),which is in form of vibrations,so everything is made up of those vibrating energies,its just that a specific arrangement of those packets makes it atom of carbon,oxygen.....

so he wont mind if you offer water(and it would be cheap as well),i mean he wont say that "no i want this set of vibrations(which yields amino acids)"

and she dint get anything.........poor me!

definately (not five fingers)

what if i take off my hands from pocket and its having 4 fingers...??
well..i wonder how the nature would adapt the change in itself,if (mass of proton was 1.57 not 1.667(approx)
if we could see thing not in a flash,i mean not in 1/c seconds(which is too fast) but a bit slow..i mean that (say the hall is 640 m long and speed of light is 320 m/s,so their would be a natural delay of 2 seconds to see the person standing at the other corner) actually we dont notice that whatever we see is 1/c seconds older...it would have been something so funny if  c=1000m/s(say) and not 3*10^8 m/s....
how things would appear??aaah...a complete drama....
is everything planned that for so and so species on so so planet (h and o combined in 2:1 ratio will do the job)??
i mean why the creator will show extra love for 2:1???
i just want to have this answer.... is every number beauty in itself.....what if golden ratio was not 1.68??how things would have changed????

i am WEAK!

as a daily routine,every night at 11:30 or 12:00, i walk the campus with a cup of tea and feynman dominating the chat....and those beautiful lonely roads with silence embeded in,as if its having some great gossips stored in it (say 50 years back of someone...?).anyways...

but today (in my life of 19 years) i have seen someone dying,and i could not do anything , my walk of campus includes ELHC as well (ELHC is the classroom complex where 2nd,3rd,4th year classes are taken,and today at 8:30 morning (approx)..a student of 4th year commited suicide (i dont want to comment if it was a suicide or some mental disorder or watever!!!)

so being an emotional person (mmm..ya emotional).. i was disturbed for the whole day,lull!

with such memories (that bleeding face revolving around MY head) how could i cross those roads..????now this is all about how few familiar things refuses to recognise u!as those scary (scary from now) ROADS did to me!!..i have to choose another commonly used path to complete my walk....previosly it was like "I CHOOSE THE PATH LESS TRAVELLED BY..."

pal me paraaya kar diya....

yes! I AM WEAK........

INNOVATION TENDS TO ZERO !

electronics lab (cse department,2nd year):

one thing is for sure that cse people are definately not going to think of/or do ''AND gate implementation using NOR''???

but still the department wants to give a feel of how to be "jack of all trades and master of none"....well the moto is good but enthusiasm lacks,its true that the person should know how the things around him are working,about the gates,semiconductors which are the basic building block of any electronic device...but what we do in our labs is : (EINSTEIN COULD NOT PASS THIS IS 4 YEARS....FEYNMAN WOULD HAVE DONE SUICIDE AFTER KILLING ASSISTANT OVER THEIR...)

we are given (ic 7402,say) 'NAND gate' and few wires,and the homework given to us was about the connection of wires for NAND,now our job is to insert WIRES PROPERLY by looking at the chart (which a layman can do)...and then assistant will check if (1 1 is 0....0 1 is 1.....so on),and the exam will be to do this without having your notebook,so the learning process is merely "HOW GOOD YOUR MEMORY IS!!!!!!"i am not able to conceive the theme behind such labs??a complete rant!!

SIR PLEASE......

teach us the magic of how to impart that NAND gate property to IC 7402(say)...teach us about the connections inside the machine about how it answers 1 1 is 0 for NAND.......we will make the machine in a week and about inserting wires,for what the assistants are!….i wont say anything about what we did in 1^st year coz this post would not be enough,I passed in all subject but I am not in a state to say a word about LATHE,FOUNDARY,DUMPY LEVEL,PHONETICS……..if I was a 9 pointer,then also I would have written this????

oh! i have a weak memory..thank god

our dreams are disgustingly rubbish...we always make sure that even if we meet hawking in our dream,we are definately going to rant the chat....
last night before sleeping i had already downloaded 15 videos of hawking and so was completely enraptured by his elegant universe??and certainly how can i miss him in my dream...i dont know how but i was chatting with him on phone...i dont remember which place that was and  what i asked him and what he replied,i just remember that computerised voice.....
what the hell! few people did discoveries by saying that they had dream of that! thank god i dont remember what i asked him?otherwise it would have been some ******** only....how far i am from them,cant compare man!!

I DONT BELIEVE IN LUCK!

well it sounds good "simplicity in complexity",moreover einstein had the same belief about universe and old one,he said that quantum physics(in the end of his life) is not thought of god,he believed in some simple forces to govern the universe,and is evident from his famous quote "the most incomprehensible thing about the universe is that it is comprehensible"

but today i NOTICED "COMPLEXITY IN SIMPLICITY"......while walking under the yellow sodium vapour lights of the campus and kicking a stone continuosly,everytime it wanted to escape my foot(unpredictible path)....but CAN YOU EXPLAIN THE MECHANICS INVOLVED IN THAT,I MEAN EVERYTIME THE UNPREDICTIBLE PATH TAKEN BY IT????I DONT THINK SO??

just by solving few SYMMETRICAL mechanics problem of (irodov,at the max) we say that O YES!WE ARE ELIGIBLE FOR COMPETITIONS....but can we explain any activity going around us...???

is our mathematics able to write the equation of path taken by a bird(SAY UNSYMMETRICAL CURVES),i mean if any function??THOUGH  their is a mathematical function but can we get that???

then why we spend our time on galactic motions,the working of universe???????????

BIG QUESTIONS HAVE ALWAYS GRABBED MY ATTENTIONS ,but unsuccess on explanation to simple questions have always let me down!

H2O (life) is made up of H(HIGHLY COMBUSTIBLE) AND O(SUPPORTS COMBUSTION),but the 2:1 ratio do THE JOB(asked in class 8^th,but sir was unable to connect the beauty,he said the proportion is perfect, but this was not my question!)!!completely SCREWED?

Similarly, “GOD DOES NOT PLAY DICE”…what DICE?if we can somehow manage to see(slow motion detection) that at what edge its falling on ground and the surface and nature of ground and hence the mechanics of predicting the rolling path taken,THEN SURELY WE CAN SAY THAT WHAT NUMBER IS GOING TO COME,THIS IS OUR PROBLEM THAT WE DON’T HAVE GOOD COORDINATION BETWEEN OUR MATHEMATICS AND PHYSICS BUT FOR GOD ITS DEFINITELY NOT THE CASE,HE IS THE BIG QUANTUM BOSS!!!!THEIR IS NOTHING CALLED LIKE UNPREDICTABLE,WERE HUMAN BRAIN IS UNABLE TO GRASP,WE PUT IT IN THE BOX CALLED “ITS OUT OF THE BOX!”….”I DON’T BELIEVE IN LUCK!”

FOR AMOEBA(say), IS INFINITY SAME AS OURS INFINITY????????????

for atoms,we say that its ionised means its electrons are free and often we say in equations while equating energy that ergy of electron becomes zero coz we considered it to be at infinity........

further in gravitation also we consider E at infinity=0???i mean irrespective of the size,ie,whether its heavenly body or microscopic!!we generalise it....but!!!

atoms also have orbit(shell) and  planets are also no exception!!and for atoms  i am sure electron need not to travel light years to be at infinity BUT JUST A DISTANCE WHICH COULD MAKE IT FREE FROM THE PULL OF NUCLEUS OF ATOM.....*but how god could do such an injustice that "infinity varies from individual to individual",I MEAN HE IS NOT THAT MUCH CHEAP THAT FOR OBC Infinity is 2/0,FOR SC ITS 3/0,FOR HOME STATE ITS 1/0,FOR SCPH ITS 5/0 ...AND FOR GENERAL ITS 0/0(INDETERMINATE AND THEY ARE MEANT TO BE F*****)

{THEIR IS DIFFERENCE between them,infinity is where mathematics failed and indeterminate means which cannot be determined,but through limits we can do something}

OK WATEVER!!!IT MEANS THAT WE CAN EXPLORE SECRETS IN LABORATORY???NO NEED OF SPACESHIPS which is suppossed to increase its speed as it goes on and ultimately crossing c(ya disscussion is going on to have one like this).............well all i can say is.....

BLA BLA BLA..BBRRRRRRRRRR???!!!;':?.,<>(*#&$%^@@#%(}_+={{}{"ly#$y#f#$wt$#y^t